Sehun no longer sleeps in his own bedroom. If he does, Luhan is always curled up right next to him. He doesn’t wake up alone anymore. Luhan’s arms are always around him, even when he wakes in the middle of the night.
They’ve decided to keep it a secret for now. Sharing kisses only behind closed doors are far in the forest where they’re alone. Luhan is the one that initiates it most of the time. Sehun doesn’t mind of course. It makes his chest tighten and his stomach curl when Luhan pulls him down for a long kiss. One that takes his breath away and leaves his lips wet and swollen after.
His favorite is when they lie in bed, the only light coming from the moon outside through the windows. Luhan’s hand and head will rest on Sehun’s chest, playing with the buttons on his pajamas as he listens to his heart beat. Sehun watches with a smile, his fingers running up and down Luhan’s back, occasionally pulling up Luhan’s top until he gasps and presses his face against Sehun’s shoulder.
“Do you think they know?” Luhan asks, thumb popping open one of the top buttons. “It has been a few weeks now and we have gotten less secretive.”
It’s Sehun’s fault really. It’s hard for him to sit next to Luhan during events without wanting to hold his hand. Without wanting to be just a little bit closer to him so he can feel his warmth against his. He thinks it’s natural, to want to be close to the one his heart wants.
“I do not think so. Even if they have noticed, it is not like we have been doing anything too intimate.”
Luhan nods, head tilting up against Sehun’s shoulder so their eyes meet. “But you want to do intimate things with me, right?”
Sehun feels his cheeks heat up and his eyes widen. He bites his bottom lip before nodding, sucking his lip in slowly when Luhan’s fingers push into his shirt. “Of course I do.”
He watches as Luhan’s lips part before he leans over, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Sehun’s eyes close, hand curling around his arm as his head tilts, making their lips press together a little better. Luhan is the one to wrap his arms around Sehun and pull him on top. He is the one to part his lips in a quiet gasp when Sehun’s hands push up his shirt and press against his skin.
Sehun watches as he pulls his lips away. The way the blush on Luhan’s cheeks is further down his neck than before. His pupils are blown out wider, lips swollen and red from their kiss. Luhan looks at him like he’s desperate for air but when he pulls Sehun down for another kiss, he realizes that it’s just the look of desire.
They stay connected and time seems to slow the more they kiss. It’s still gentle and timid as time goes on. Sehun’s pajama shirt is pooled around his waist and Luhan’s is opened, exposing his chest. They never move past small touches against each other’s chest, both still too shy and nervous to go forward. Sehun doesn’t mind. He’s glad the prince is just as shy as him. He wouldn’t really know what to do with himself if they moved at a fast pace.
“When was the first time you realized you had feelings for me?”
Luhan’s head is back resting against Sehun’s shoulder again. His fingers trace abstract shapes along his bare chest. Small laughs come from his lips whenever they pass over his nipples, watching as they get hard.
“I believe it was that time we went out for a walk and it began to pour rain you-”
“I complained about my hair getting messed up and that is when took off your gown and held it up above my head the whole time we walked back.”
Sehun laughs, teeth digging into his bottom lip, nodding his head with a smile. “Your mother hated me that day I believe. She scolded me for hours for walking outside without uniform and exposing myself to whoever may have been watching.”
“You had undergarments on though! I really do not know why she was so angry. She would have scolded me for being soaking wet and ruining my clothing if it was not for you.” Luhan puffs his cheeks out and tilts his head so his eyes meet Sehun’s. “That was a few years ago, correct?” He waits for Sehun to nod before smiling and rubbing his chest with his palm. “You are ridiculous, you know that, Sehun?”
He doesn’t respond and opts for pressing a long kiss on Luhan’s forehead. The other buries his face against his shoulder, nails gently pressing into his chest. “Ridiculously falling for you,” he says after some time.
“Father has arranged for one of the prince’s of the Kim family to join us next month.” Luhan sighs, puffing his cheeks out as he continues to pick off the pedals of a flower he’s been twisting for the last ten minutes. “One of the Prince’s of Korea. Second in line I believe he is.”
Sehun turns his head, stretching his legs out as he pushes his hands back behind his head. “You look stressed. Are you nervous?”
Luhan purses his lips out into a pout, body sliding down to become parallel with Sehun’s. “You should know more than anyone that I do not enjoy meeting other people. Most of the time when we have guests, all they do is talk about official business with mother and father.”
“You know,” Sehun says, thigh bumping against Luhan’s. “It might be time to start participating in those things. You will need to know them when it comes time for you to become Emperor.”
Luhan had always made it clear how he didn’t like to indulge in royal activities. It wasn’t that he didn’t like being a prince, at least that’s what he claimed. He just wasn’t ready to take over a country. Luhan had always said he was far too young and he didn’t feel ready. Sehun knew it was his own insecurities that were eating him away about it. He had always tried to encourage Luhan, telling him that he’ll be a great Emperor one day. It never did stick.
With Luhan silent, Sehun takes the opportunity to tease. He licks his lips before turning on his side to face Luhan. “You are worried that your Korean accent is bad.”
He tries not to burst out laughing when Luhan parts his lips and sits up on his elbows. “If my accent is bad it is because of my teacher!” Luhan’s smaller hands shoot over to hit at Sehun’s chest. “Because my teacher is now too busy trying to kiss me than teach me Korean!”
“You must have a very lucky teacher than, my prince.” The grin on Sehun’s face doesn’t falter even when Luhan groans and leans down to kiss him.
“You are very annoying, do you know that?”
Sehun laughs, leaning his head back as he pushes himself up off of the grass. “The only thing annoying right now is that it is nearly noon which means it is time for your poetry class.”
Luhan pouts the whole walk back into the castle. Their hands only come apart when they enter through the large doors. Sehun wishes Luhan a goodbye and sneaks a gentle kiss behind one of the towering pillars. The prince whines for another kiss against Sehun’s lips but the younger one whispers that he’s going to be late. Luhan almost bumps into one of the many expensive vases because he refuses to tear his eyes away from Sehun.
It was always the longest time without Luhan. His lessons were obnoxiously long, sometimes reaching just over four hours. Sehun never really was sure what to do with himself during the time. Today was no different.
He spends the first hour cleaning Luhan’s room. Picking up all the clothing that had been tossed over the last few days. Picking up the books that Luhan and himself left on the floor last night after spontaneously deciding to go out to their old hideout in the woods. Sehun smiles as he makes Luhan’s bed, happy to know that he was part of the reason it was messy in the first place.
At two, Sehun decides to get a snack ready for both him and Luhan. He gathers Luhan’s favorite rice crackers and a bowl of grapes. It isn’t much but he knows it’s one of the prince’s favorite snacks to have. It doesn’t take him long to prepare and he gently knocks on the door of the study room, bowl and place in his hand. The guard opens the door and Sehun bows, holding out the food and whispering that it is for the prince. The food gets taken slowly and Sehun only sees a sliver of Luhan’s dark hair before the door is shut again.
The walk back to his own room is disrupted when he begins to hear the Empress and Emperor’s voices echoing through the large hall. Sehun isn’t one to eavesdrop. He always felt terribly guilty after doing so anyways. But when he hears the Empress mention Luhan’s name, his heart skips a beat.
“Have you told Luhan about the Prince of Korea coming in a matter of weeks?”
“Yes, I have. I do hope he does not try and hide from him.”
“Well I know Jongin is very outgoing and he will bring Luhan out of his shell. He spends far too much time in his room with Sehun, don’t you agree?”
Sehun scrunches his nose up, body pressing up against the corner of the hallway. He bites his lip, fingers curling around the corner.
“Jongin’s family has agreed that both of them would be very good for each other. Jongin has been anticipating his meeting since we agreed months ago.”
“I do hope this works, dear. We all could benefit greatly from having allies in Korea. It would also give Luhan a wonderful man. He’s already past the age I wished for him to be married. He should be ready for children at this point.”
It’s when he hears one of the doors open that Sehun gasps and swiftly pushes his way into his bedroom. His fist curl into his sides and his nails dig deeply into his palms. It isn’t fair, he thinks. Luhan doesn’t need a fancy prince to be happy. He is happy with him, happy with Sehun. Someone that has been there all his life, not one with all the money and power. It makes Sehun hit his hands against the wall, groaning out loudly.
The fear of Luhan finding someone to be with was always on Sehun’s mind. He never wanted to see Luhan with someone other than him. As selfish as it was, Sehun felt that he was the only one that truly knew Luhan. He knew everything about the prince. Every one of his favorite books. His favorite time of the year. The way he didn’t like the sheets that had the deep red flowers on it because it made his skin itch. He knew everything.
Now that he had Luhan, the thought of someone coming to try and take him away was infuriating. He wanted to storm into the throne room and tell the Empress and Emperor that Luhan didn’t need Jongin or anyone in that matter because he had him. Sehun was with him and that’s all he needed. His fingers twitch against the doorknob, mind urging him on to go make his relationship status with Luhan known. He wasn’t going to let anyone take Luhan away from him.
Just as he opens the door, Luhan bursts in. His arms wrap around Sehun’s shoulders, pushing him back against the door so it shuts behind them. His lips are on his and Sehun can’t help but grab Luhan’s sides, pulling him closer. The thoughts in his mind disappear while they kiss. All he can think about is how his heart ached from how much he missed Luhan. A simple two hours away and he felt like he had been gone for months.
“Thank you for the snacks,” Luhan says when the pull away. He smiles and cups Sehun’s cheeks, pecking him on the lips quickly. “I have to go back now. I am supposed to be using the washroom.”
He watches Luhan leave the room as quickly as he came. His fingers linger against his before the hand leaves and shuts the door. Sehun sucks in a breath, pushing his hair back, eyes closing and lips pressing together tightly. For now, he thinks it’s best to remain silent.
Sehun watches with his eyes narrowed and his arms behind his back as the castle doors open. Luhan is standing next to him, body pressed close and warmth seeping on his shoulder. They all bow in unison when Jongin walks in, guards on either side of him and four more behind him. Sehun’s eyes land right on Jongin’s when his body straightens up.
He wears a long gown in deep purple with silver along the sides. It’s a stark contrast to the four of them standing in a row. He hears Luhan suck in a breath when Jongin stops in front of him. The purple prince bows in front of the Empress and Emperor for long moments. When he steps in front of Luhan, he not only bows but gently grabs his hand, kissing the top of it in the process.
It takes Sehun everything in his power not to grab Luhan’s hand away from him and whisper through his teeth that Luhan is his. Luhan seems to be taken back by the action as well, head turning quickly to look up at Sehun.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, your highness.”
Jongin’s voice is like a smooth drink. It makes Sehun almost gag and scrunch his nose up at the sound of him and the way he calls Luhan by a proper name. He smirks to himself, knowing that Luhan hates that name. Stupid boy, he thinks when Jongin stands up.
“He is my guard,” Luhan says quickly, fingers brushing against Sehun’s leg. “Oh Sehun is his name. Please address him as so.”
Jongin lets out a laugh, lips parting to show his shining white teeth. “Oh Sehun. It is a pleasure to meet you.”
When Jongin bows again, Sehun lets his lip curl into a snarl, hiding his hand behind his back. He doesn’t say anything and proceeds to smile when Jongin stands up and looks at him. “A pleasure for me as well.”
“Shall we have lunch and tea,” the Empress suggest, smiling as Jongin nods in agreement.
Sehun tries his best to keep an open mind while they sit at the table. He’s sitting across from Luhan, his normal spot on the opposite side of the royals. His legs are just long enough so when he stretches out, his feet brush against Luhan’s. He watches as Luhan smiles and laughs into his tea cup. Sehun smiles when Luhan’s feet brush back against his own.
“So Luhan,” Jongin says with a smile, “you are twenty-two?”
Luhan nods and takes a sip of his tea, licking at his lips when they pull away. “As of this year.”
“I never would have guessed because you look as though you are still underage, so beautiful and young. You must never age.”
It’s a terrible attempt at flirting and Sehun has to look away from the grin on Jongin’s face. He hears Luhan laugh quietly before answering. “I assure you I am quite my age.”
The lunch goes on almost the same way the whole time. Jongin asks Luhan questions about his life. What his favorite hobbies are. What kind of sports he likes. Even what his favorite color is. Sehun can’t help but interrupt by clearing his throat after he asks the question.
“It is pastel blue. The color that he is wearing at the moment.”
Jongin tilts his head, lips parting in a silent ‘ah’ before turning back to Luhan. “Your Korean is quite well. You must have studied hard during your lessons.”
Luhan tilts his head, eyes meeting Sehun’s. “Actually, Sehun has taught me. He is quite the teacher.”
“Your Korean?” Jongin says as he grabs his tea cup, lips curling into a smile.
“My father was Korean. Mother was Chinese. My father was the one to teach me Korean after I was born. Luhan was curious and said he always loved when I spoke in Korean so I began teaching him a few years ago.”
Sehun smiles when Luhan’s cheeks turn a gentle pink. He’s satisfied with himself and feels better when they are dismissed to allow Jongin to unpack his things and get comfortable.
Luhan drags Sehun by his gown into his room. He pouts and hits at his chest the moment the door closes behind them. “Oh Sehun! What do you think you are doing?” Luhan whines, patting his cheeks. “You were so obvious!”
The younger can’t help but laugh as he leans down, capturing Luhan’s cheeks. “I suppose I am just a little territorial is all.”
The whines stop from Luhan’s mouth and his arms wrap around his shoulders. “You are going to make a fool out of yourself one day,” Luhan whispers against his lips.
“I have to tell you,” Sehun says quietly, thumbs brushing at the curve of Luhan’s back. “Jongin is not simply visiting. Your parents want him to court you.”
Luhan pulls away, his arms sliding off of Sehun’s shoulders. “Are you sure?”
“I heard them talking last month before he came. I did not want to tell you incase it was not true but it seems as if it is.” Sehun sighs, his brows furrowing and his heart feeling heavy.
His head tilts up when Luhan’s hands wrap around his cheeks. The prince has a bright smile on his lips and his eyes sparkle. “They are fools if they believe I am going to marry him.”
And Sehun thinks that his heart stops at those words. He smiles so strongly that his cheeks hurt and his eyes close. Luhan lets out a laugh as he pulls him close, pressing a strong kiss to his lips.
Jongin comes around just after two. Sehun watches as the other walks down the hall and towards Luhan’s room.
“Is Luhan in there?”
Sehun tilts his head, arms crossing over his chest. “He is taking a nap.”
Jongin lets out a laugh. “At twenty-two, he still takes afternoon naps? He is certainly very cute.” He sighs and pushes his hair back. “If you would like to go take one as well, I can watch over his room. I am sure I will do just as suitable as a job as you will.”
“I do not think so,” Sehun says with a scoff. “It is my job to stand here and make sure that the prince is protected. I am almost certain that Luhan would not be happy if I was not here when he wakes.”
“My, my,” Jongin says, finger poking at Sehun’s chest. “Someone is very protective I see.” He sighs, finger trailing down Sehun’s arm until it’s hit away. “Must come from your father I gather.” Jongin pulls away, another sigh coming from his lips. “Anyway, I suppose I will see both of you when Luhan wakes.”
Sehun’s nostrils flare and his heart feels like it’s beating out of his chest when Jongin walks away. He grips his arms so tightly he’s certain that the blood flow is cut off. He waits until Jongin is out of sight before opening the bedroom door and walking inside.
Luhan is sleeping soundly, body curled up towards the window. Sehun sighs as he slides onto the bed, body crawling over towards the prince. His arms wrap themselves around Luhan’s body, pulling him close. He presses gentle kisses against Luhan’s shoulder, watching him carefully. It only takes three or four kisses before Luhan turns on his back, arms hugging Sehun’s waist and lips pressing against Sehun’s.
It’s a sleepy kiss, one that makes Sehun smile. When they pull away, Sehun brushes Luhan’s bangs back and places a small peck to his forehead.
“You never come in during my nap unless something is wrong,” Luhan says sleepily, eyes closing.
Sehun bites his lip and shakes his head. “I simply missed you is all.” It’s a terrible lie but Sehun thinks it’s better to try and not worry about Jongin.
Sehun presses Luhan up against the wall in his bedroom. The room isn’t as big and lavish as Luhan’s but it’s enough for them to move comfortably. Luhan’s head tilts back, lips parting and gentle moan leaving his lips as Sehun presses open mouth kisses, hot and heavy against his neck. Luhan had been the one to suggest it. He had grabbed Sehun’s hand and tugged him into the younger one’s room as they were walking. He had pressed his lips against Sehun’s, whispering a quiet, ‘I need you.’
He had promised himself that he would never go any further than Luhan wanted. The months had passed and their five months together was fast approaching. Luhan had always said to him that he never wanted their first time to be terribly slow and cliche. I am not that kind of person, as you know, he would say when they would bring up the topic. And Luhan wasn’t going back on his words as Sehun pushed his shirt off and let it fall to the floor.
Sehun had seen Luhan without a shirt and in his underwear plenty of times. But each time it made his breath hitch and his cheeks blush. Luhan presses kisses along Sehun’s collarbones while Sehun’s fingers played against Luhan’s underwear. He knows his heart is beating incredibly fast and he’s almost certain that Luhan can hear it as he continues to nip and kiss his chest.
The sight of Luhan’s cock makes his own twitch in his underwear. His hand doesn’t waste any time wrapping around the prince’s member, loving the feeling of how it pulses in his hand and feels heavy. Luhan pulls away, head bumping against the wall quietly as he leans it back in pleasure.
“Sehun,” he whispers in a moan, legs spreading and hips bucking up in time with Sehun’s hand. Luhan’s shaky hands pull down Sehun’s underwear, his cheeks turning a dark pink when his eyes stop at his crotch. He carefully places his hand over Sehun’s cock, moaning and Sehun watches as his toes curl against the floor.
On the way to the bed, Sehun grabs the lotion he keeps in the bathroom. Luhan giggles when Sehun slides on top of him, hips pushing together and his cock pressing against his thigh.
“You are very impressive,” Luhan breathes out when Sehun rocks his hips down. “I have to say I am a little concerned it will not fit.”
“I believe you can take it,” Sehun says with a grin, spreading lotion over his fingers as Luhan blushes deep red. “I will prepare you well.”
It’s a little slower than everything before. Sehun’s fingers enter one by one until he’s got four twisting and thrusting in Luhan. The prince moans out every time Sehun thrusts his fingers, hand tugging at his hair and legs spread wide. Sehun didn’t expect Luhan to be so filthy in bed. They’ve always been rather shy and quiet when they’ve kissed but the moans and slurred encouragements for Sehun to go faster and deeper.
Sehun pulls his fingers out after Luhan looks at him, eyes glassy and lips red from spit. He nods and whispers that he’s ready and Sehun doesn’t need any more prep. Sehun applies a good amount of lotion onto his cock, not wanting to hurt Luhan even though it’s almost inevitable. But it’s his job to make sure it hurts as little as possible.
Luhan gasps out when Sehun pushes in. It takes several minutes before he can get all the way in but both of them are patient. Luhan’s legs wrap around Sehun’s waist, pulling him down for a kiss when his hands cup his cheeks. They kiss slowly as Sehun starts to move, little whimpers shared between their lips.
It’s nothing like Sehun has ever felt before. His heart is fluttering and his stomach is doing graceful flips. His eyes are burning with passion against Luhan’s and the prince is returning the same look. The pleasure is so overwhelming that Sehun’s sure he’s going to burst any minute. The tightness around his cock, the feeling of Luhan’s nails dragging their way up his back, making angry red marks. Then there’s the way that Luhan’s looking at him, whispering how good it is every few minutes. When Sehun thrusts particularly hard, Luhan chokes out a moan, whispering ‘I love you’ after it and between pants.
Sehun is the first to come, pushing all the way and and letting his body shake as he comes in Luhan. It’s only seconds after that Luhan follows, thighs tightening around Sehun’s hips. Sehun wraps his arms around Luhan, kissing him through his orgasm. The thighs against him shake hard and his cock feels like it’s never going to come back out from how hard Luhan is tightened around him.
Even with a thin layer of sweat covering Luhan’s skin and his orgasm still making his body tremble, Luhan still manages to smile. It’s a bright smile that makes Sehun smile himself, laughing at how hard Luhan is smiling. His lips press against Luhan’s as his hands run up his side.
“Words can not describe how much I love you, Luhan.”
Before Luhan can speak, there’s a soft clapping coming from the side. Both of their eyes widen and their heads turn to the side. Sehun feels his whole body numb when he sees Jongin standing in the doorway, hands clapping together every so often.
“So this is why you are so protective over the prince,” he says with a grin.
Luhan’s face is pale and Sehun tries to hush him but Luhan pushes his hands away and pushes him off before tugging the blankets over him. Sehun quickly slides off the bed, giving Luhan a chaste kiss and telling him that he’ll be back in a minute. He tugs his gown on, not caring that he doesn’t have any underwear on and it’s not completely on right. His hands push at Jongin’s chest, who’s still laughing and grinning like a psycho.
“You will not say a word about this to anyone,” Sehun hisses as he shuts the door, gripping at Jongin’s shirt. “No one can know about Luhan and I.”
Jongin crosses his arms, pushing Sehun’s hand away. “I take it you two have been going like this for some time now. The prince does not strike me as someone to play around easily.”
Sehun sucks in a breath, puffing his cheeks out as he pushes his hair back. “Five months soon.” His eyes narrow and he stares at Jongin so hard he hopes he can feel the anger. “But I have been with Luhan since I was born so I consider it longer than such.”
“And why are you so scared to let the Emperor and Empress know then? If you and Luhan have been so close, they should expect such a relationship, correct?”
Sehun furrows his brows, a growl coming from between his lips. “Luhan and I’s relationship is none of your business. I do not know why they sent you here because there is no way that Luhan would ever allow someone like you to court him.”
“I do not know if I would be so sure considering Luhan was the one to just push you away.”
At that, Sehun snaps. He slaps Jongin so hard across the face that the sound echoes throughout the hallway. He’s never been one to really lose his temper and he definitely wasn’t one to hit a member of royalty. Yet his hand stings and his chest is so tight and heavy. “You will not talk about Luhan in such a manner. You do not know anything.”
Jongin still has that fucking grin on his face when Sehun slams the door behind him.
Sehun only leaves Luhan’s bed in the morning to get Luhan water. He mumbles in his sleep how thirsty he is and Sehun does his best to be fast as possible to get it. By the time he returns, Luhan is already back asleep but Sehun sits there and waits, cup in hand incase Luhan wakes up.
They don’t talk as much as usual. Luhan stays quiet and when he talks, it’s only one or two words. Sehun feels incredibly guilty, knowing it was probably his fault for the way Luhan was reacting. He should have convinced Luhan to do it in a more private place, mostly considering Sehun’s door doesn’t have a lock on it. He likes to think that it’s really Jongin’s fault. If he hadn’t been trying to court Luhan as avidly as he was, he probably never would have walked in on them. Sehun’s fingers curl into his palms every time he remembers that grin that Jongin had.
“Hey,” Sehun says gently as Luhan comes out of the shower. His hand cups at his cheek that’s still wet and a little cold. “I still love you, okay? Nothing could ever change my feelings for you.”
Luhan stares at him, bangs wet against his forehead and nose red. “I know. I love you too.”
Sehun furrows his brows, not exactly happy with the answer. “Then what is wrong? You seem so distant.”
The prince sighs, teeth digging into his bottom lip. “I,” a pause before Luhan shakes his head. “our relationship is so difficult. I want to hold your hand and kiss you in front of everyone. We always have to be so secretive.” Luhan pushes his hair back as he makes his way over to the closet. “I do not want to sneak around anymore.”
Sehun’s eyes would light up at the confession mostly because it would mean that Luhan wanted to tell his parents about them. But the sadness in his voice has his heart racing and his hand reaching out to grab Luhan’s arm. “Then let us tell your parents.” It’s worth an ask, Sehun thinks quickly, fingers squeezing at Luhan’s arm.
“You know they would not approve of such a thing, Sehun. I may see the greatness in you but no matter what I see, you are still not of royal blood.” Luhan frowns, eyes looking down as he sucks in a breath. “If Prince Jongin was able to catch us, my parents or the guards could easily do the same.”
Luhan pulls away and Sehun feels as though his chest is being pressed in with a weight. He walks quickly after Luhan, wrapping his arms around him, turning him around and cupping his face. He presses his forehead against his, frowning at the way Luhan closes his eyes. “You cannot throw this away,” Sehun whispers, thumbs brushing at Luhan’s cheeks. “Prince Jongin is a nuisance and he was sneaking around when he was not supposed to. I promised to protect you, did I not? This is no different.”
“Sehun,” Luhan says after a long silence. His eyes open and he grabs Sehun’s hands, pulling them down slowly. “Please let me have some alone time.” Instead of letting go of his hands, Luhan squeezes them gently. “I promise you that I am still very much in love with you. Do not be mistaken.”
The next time Sehun sees Luhan is at dinner. They all gather around the large table, platters of food and bottles of wine line the top. Sehun’s seated across from Luhan, eyes trained on the prince because Jongin is sitting next to him.
“Jongin,” the Empress asks with a smile. “I do hope you are enjoying your stay here.”
The prince nods, lips curling into a smile. “I certainly am. It has been quite entertaining.”
“How long are you staying? You must remind me.”
Jongin takes a sip of his wine, humming against the class before pulling his lips away. “I had planned to only stay for a week or two. I will certainly keep in touch when I return to Korea, however. You all are quite charming.”
The compliment makes the Empress smile and her cheeks turn a light pink. She reaches out to pat Jongin’s shoulder and Sehun tries his best to keep a straight face.
“Luhan,” Jongin says after they finish the third course. “You are looking quite tired, perhaps you would like to go lay down?”
Sehun sits up in his chair, knowing that it’s his cue to walk Luhan back to his room. But Luhan puts his hand up when Sehun begins to stand. The prince stands up on his own and his fingers tap against the table before his body bends in a bow. “I apologize for leaving in the middle but I am feeling quite ill.”
If the Empress and Emperor weren’t sitting at the table, Sehun is sure that he’d get up and follow Luhan. As much as he wanted to, he knew that it would only be trouble for him if he did. Luhan probably wouldn’t appreciate it either. He’s forced to bite his lip and watch as Luhan walks out of the dining hall.
Sehun does nothing but sit outside of Luhan’s door for the rest of the night. He’s not exactly sure what he should do. Luhan’s obviously upset about their activities last night and Sehun doesn’t really want to push himself on him. He sighs, leaning back in the chair, eyes closing and head leaning against the wall. His hand rubs at his face, lips pressing tightly together.
It doesn’t make any sense to him. He didn’t think that Luhan would get so affected by Jongin walking in on them. He understands that he was embarrassed, he was a little embarrassed too. The way he was acting now, saying things like their relationship was difficult and he didn’t want to sneak around anymore, made Sehun’s heart ache. He frowns, torso leaning down and his elbows resting on his knees while his head rests in his hands.
‘I may see the greatness in you but no matter what I see, you are still not of royal blood.’
Was Luhan really that kind of person? No, he couldn’t be. Sehun runs his fingers through his hair. Luhan had never cared about his status before. It wasn’t a problem when they first started dating and he doesn’t understand why it’s a problem now. He always hated the fact that he had to be labeled as a prince. He didn’t care about the other royal families or any of the activities that came with it.
So what went wrong? Sehun didn’t hurt him in any way, not that he knew. It was frustrating and Sehun wanted to scream. He wanted to burst into Luhan’s room and beg for him to forgive whatever he did. It was low, to beg like that, he thinks. Luhan meant so much to him though. More than anything and anyone. He was his first friend, his only friend at that. He refused to let it all fall apart.
When the clock passes nine, Sehun stands up. He straightens his gown and heads back to his room with a frown, knowing that Luhan won’t come out until the morning most likely. His heart sinks when he lays in his bed. The sheets are too cold and it’s too quiet with only his breathing. The blanket are still messed from last night and he can smell the lotion they used when he nuzzles into the blanket. Maybe time was all Luhan needed. Maybe he was just overthinking it.
Jongin leaves a week later. He bids them all farewell the same way they said their hellos. Sehun stands next to Luhan, the gap significantly further than it was before. Jongin kisses Luhan’s hand as he did before. Luhan has no reaction this time. His face is straight and his hand limp in Jongin’s. Sehun bites his lip, glad that Luhan isn’t smiling or giving Jongin any positive feedback.
Luhan stays the same. He’s quiet around Sehun and even around his parents. Sehun is with Luhan more than a few weeks ago. They go on walks together and Luhan smiles more. There’s still something wrong though, Sehun can feel it. He tries to ask Luhan when they spend time together. He asks subtly, making sure to ask if he’s okay before moving forward. Whenever Sehun brings up the next question, Luhan changes the subject or mentions that he’s tired.
Sehun tries his best to be patient. He tries to understand Luhan’s needs the best he can. But he can feel his patient withering away. He wants the Luhan he grew up with back. The one that would come to him in the middle of the night and beg him to make him food. The one that would tease him and whine when Sehun would tease back. Luhan was always bright and full of laughter. Maybe the night they shared together was too far. Maybe they were just destined to be friends. Sehun hated the thought. Hated it. It was a possible reality though.
He knew there was something off when Luhan ran to the door one morning to check for letters. Sehun watches him, arms crossed over his chest. Luhan smiles at him as they walk back to the bedroom. He can’t help but try and peek at what the envelop had written on it. Sehun only sees scribbled Chinese on the purple package before Luhan rips it open, pulling the several pieces of paper in it.
Every week Luhan gets the same colored package in the mail. Sometimes Luhan already has it when Sehun brings in breakfast. Other times he’s running down to grab it after lunch. Today, Sehun waits for it. He sits by the door and waits for the carrier to drop the things off. He spots it before the man even gets to the door. It’s the same purple that has begun to make him sick.
It isn’t heavy and when he shakes it, he can’t hear anything moving about. His lips press together before looking around, making sure no one was in the room. He opens it and he’s immediately hit with a strong wave of cologne. His nose scrunches up and he turns around the package, eyes squinting at the writing on the front. When he can make it out, his heart clenches and he feels as if the world has stopped.
Another week and I miss you terribly. I believe I will be coming to visit in the next month or so. I can not wait to see you again. Perhaps this time we can spend time together more, yes?
Sehun has to stop reading the papers in his hand. His heart is beating so fast that he can’t hear anything but the sound of it thumping. He’s sure his face is as pale as snow and his whole body is shivering. He wishes it was from the autumn air seeping in. Sehun thinks he should be angry. His blood should be boiling because how could Luhan do this to him? How could he tell him that he loved him every night. Sleep next to him, fingers touching at his palms. But the ache of sadness in his heart is overwhelming.
It brings him shame that he lets tears fall on his cheeks. It makes him feel like a fool for still being so terribly in love with Luhan. His lips part for a silent sob before he wipes his eyes. He sucks in a breath, calming himself down before pushing the papers back into the package.
Luhan is already dressed when he enters the room with tea and the opened package under his arm. The prince smiles at him, walking over to where he stands. “Thank you, Sehun. I was wondering where you were.”
Sehun is quiet when he sets the tray on the nightstand carefully, making sure the tea doesn’t spill any. He turns to Luhan, hands holding out the package. Luhan looks at him with furrowed brows and parted lips. “It came for you this morning,” Sehun says softly. “I apologize for opening it.”
He knows Luhan can see the sadness in his eyes. Luhan doesn’t grab the package. He reaches for Sehun’s hand instead. Sehun shakes his head, pushing the package against Luhan’s chest until the smaller hands hold it up.
“Please,” Sehun breathes out, “spare me from anymore humiliation.”
“Sehun,” Luhan grabs his arm, the package dropping to the floor. “I did not mean any harm. Jongin he is the one who started sending me letters. I-”
Sehun laughs. He laughs with whimpers in the back of his throat. “Do not even explain.” His hand runs through his hair, pushing the black locks back as far as they’ll go. “I was a fool to think that we could be together. I am not of royal blood, like you said. Jongin would be a much better suit for you. Do not trouble yourself with explanations.” Sehun pushes Luhan’s hand off of him, feet taking him back until his shoulders hit the door. “I will resume my duties as I did before this. Please,” he says sadly, “please do not expect anything more than that.”
It’s hard to breathe when he closes the door once he’s out in the hallway. He hears Luhan calling his names and he’s certain there’s sobs mixed in with the words. Sehun’s head leans back against the door momentarily before he pushes himself off of it. His lips press together and he begins walking downstairs to start breakfast for the prince.